Non-Convergence

I just got a new cell phone. A Samsung T-509. I knew it wouldn't work as a cell phone nearly as well as my venerable Nokia, but at long last I would have a phone that made me a complete person. And it was true, I did feel better about myself ... until I called voicemail.

I held the phone (pausing briefly to appreciate its beauty) and used the (slightly awkward, but never mind) navigation pad to maneuver over to "Call Voice Mail." I hit the button. "Voice Mail" said the screen, and gave the number, while an animation of swooping ribbons of light played in the background. Connected! I typed my access code on the tiny keyboard. And then, nothing. I waited, starting down at the screen on the phone in my hand. Still nothing. Was it broken? Where was the menu? I tried the navigation pad. Left, then right. No. Where were the prompts, and the graphics, and the swirling ribbons of light dancing behind the list of my messages? There was nothing, nothing but a faint buzzing coming from the phone. I held it to my ear. "Hit 1 to review messages" the little voice began.

There was to be no menu. No animations of voice mail messages romping across a field of swirling color. My beautiful new fully-digitally-enabled phone was running 1980's vintage software accessing (at best) 1990's vintage POTS voice mail. I wept softly.